Ugh. Did you ever have a time when everything was just wonderful and you are in a good mood… then you come home and it all vanishes in a few moments of stupidity… yeah, that was my night. I hate that. Had a wonderful time at the Meeting Place tonight. Afterwards, I stayed for an hour and prayed. Then driving home was cool too despite the blowing snow and slow drivers. So I get home and have this ridiculous fight with Jeremy over something so stupid. Anyway he left, so whatever. I am sick of dealing with the drama. There are always two sides to an argument – thus, the blame must fall on both parties. (If the other person did not respond, there would probably not be much of a fight.) But usually I end up being the one portrayed as the bad guy, the one who is wrong. Then I get the whole guilt trip thing from him – which does not work on me, they only make me more stubborn (which is not right either, but that is what guilt trips seem to do to me). The worst one is the “what a bad Christian you are Josh … you just came from church, you’d think you would not be acting like this.” I mean what is that? Am I not allowed to mess up? Have I ever attacked your Christianity? No way. I never said I was perfect. Never. Anyone who knows me knows that I admit my frailness, my falleness, my failure. Thankfully, God is faithful, and even in my moments of idiocy, He still loves me.
Nonetheless, I just hate when stuff like that happens. I guess it proves the fact that I am, in fact, human and subject to the same ability to walk in the flesh as anyone else. It’s weird because a bunch of us were actually talking about this earlier tonight. One minute you can be under the hand of God, totally in his presence, walking in the spirit, and then it’s like he takes His hand out of the glove and you just lose it.. you go limp… and then you do something totally in the flesh. Why are we wired that way is beyond me. And what sets stuff off like that is even more beyond me. God help us!