^^ This guy though… one of the good ones since 1996. ^^
Sometimes you read a verse and skim over it without really getting the meat and meaning of it. Proverbs 17:17 was one of those for me. I was listening to Father John Ricardo a few weeks ago. He was talking about friendship and used this verse. “It is for adversity that a friend is born.” He said that a lot of times we read that verse like, “when things are tough in your life, you find out who really cares about you.” That’s a prettty common sentiment. But the truth is that genuine friendship is much more than just someone who is “there for you” when it gets hard. A true friend is someone you trust enough to rebuke you — and say, “What are you thinking? What are you doing?” The Bible says that iron sharpens irons, and faithful are the wounds of a friend over the kisses of an enemy (Proverbs 27:6). We grow by correction. And like Paul Young says, iron does sharpen iron … if the angle is right. Discipline is painful and never enjoyable but it is what causes maturity in us. And when a good friend calls us out on something, it may smart a bit, but it can causes us to become a better person. Because if we trust them and they love us and want the best for us, their calling us out is an extension of that love.
Athletes go through rigorous training. For what reason? To bring out the best in them. To train them to be in peak condition to win the gold. For me, what does that look like? Holiness. Righteousness. Virtue. Christ called me to be holy as He is. I can’t do this on my own. Like Father Ricardo says, “I need someone to help me — not only to encourage me; but to challenge me, correct me, push me, motivate me. And in correction, they might say things I don’t want to hear and may even recoil against. Nonetheless, these things help me grow, and afterwards, I can say thanks and understand that they must really care for me because they risked a heckuva lot to tell me that.”
As an introvert my whole life, and being a pretty independent single dude, it is easy for me to do things on my own and forget the value of companionship and friendship. Solomon says this in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 — “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” Father Ricardo said, “We live in a world that idolizes John Wayne and the Lone Ranger. We romanticize the idea of riding off into the sunset and taking on all the bad guys on your own. Not in the Christian life you don’t. Thats a recipe for death. We need each other and are not rugged individuals. We can’t do this life on our own and we can’t have the lone ranger mentality. What I need is a band of brothers. Together. Focused in the same direction.”
Sirach 5:14-16 says, “Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter: whoever finds one has found a rare treasure. Faithful friends are beyond price; no amount can balance their worth. Faithful friends are the elixir of life; and those who fear the Lord will find them.”
In Mark 3, Jesus called the 12 disciples to come be with him. When you became a disciple, you walked away from everything you knew to follow the master. That is what Jesus is asking of us when calls us to be with Him — to be in intimate relationship with Him means we leave the wide path that the world is walking on and start climbing the twisting narrow path that is not easy or comfortable. It’s unfamiliar and often rigorous, yet we are not alone. Christ walks with us along this trail.
Father John gives an example of Shakespeare’s play, Henry V. Henry is a picture of a christ-like king. He is in there, side-by-side, fighting with his men, leading them into battle. He reminds them that “those of us who survive — on the anniversaries of these fights we are going to sit down, roll up our sleeves, tell the stories and boast of these exploits. Right now it may be tedious, tiresome, and often difficult. We may want to quit. But one day … one day we are going to sit down together and we are going to laugh, drink together, and be grateful as we recall the great feats that we did. That to me is one of the greatest images of what it is like to do battle as a christian in this life. Christianity is not a dream. It is a battle. We get bruised and scarred. And when you go through it with other brothers at your side, it makes it all the more worth it. That’s friendship. That’s important. And because we have been going in the same direction together, there’s something around which we can gather and recount and give thanks — for God is remarkably faithful. God is calling you and me to be with Him and to do something amazing for Him and with Him.”
That’s the kind of friendship we all long for. Some of us have such friends, who have walked along side of us through the mountain highs and the valley lows; who have handed us cash in tough times; have spoken hard truths to us when we needed a kick in the tail; who put up with our soapbox lectures; who have laughed, cried, and done completely ridiculous things with us. Sometimes you don’t even see them for ages, and then when you do, it’s like you were never apart. The exploits and the stories are told, and the bond is strengthened. Christianity is about having a friend like that. In John 15:14, Jesus said, “There’s no greater love than this — to lay down your life for your friends … I call you my friends because I have made known to you everything I have heard from my Father.”
May you celebrate the friendships that you have that have affected you powerfully and have caused you to grow stronger, better and closer to Christ. May you celebrate your love for them; and may you continue to walk side-by-side in community on the journey of life. Life is an adventure and adventures are best when shared.
Thoughts and notes from Father John Ricardo’s message on Friendship, 9/19/17.