If you feel like your fuse is a little shorter than usual, or if the sadness kicks in a little more frequently, or the anxiety has you feeling more wired, you are not alone. The past two years have left people worldwide feeling more stressed and depressed than ever.
The pandemic year was hard enough. We were in such uncertainty as to what was going to happen. There were no vaccines yet. There was so much speculation, misinformation, and division. So when 2021 rolled around, I think many people were hoping it would get better. Then January 6 happened and a month or so later, Russia invaded Ukraine. As a nation, we were even more divided than ever, and then a slew of mass shootings happened, the Supreme Court made some big rulings, followed by even more arguments and division. Meanwhile inflation spiked, gas prices rose to over $5/gallon, and we ran out of baby formula. Everything is costing more and people are stressed out.
Gallup just did their annual poll that tracks the negative and positive experiences that people have globally. 2020 was the most stressful year in recent history, but emotionally, the second year of the pandemic hit harder. More people died in year two from COVID-19 and there was much more uncertainty. Gallup polled people in 122 countries and asked 5 questions. There was an increase in overall stress in 2021.
| 2020 | 2021 | |
| 40% | 42% | were more worried |
| 40% | 41% | were more stressed |
| 29% | 31% | experienced physical pain |
| 27% | 28% | were more sad |
| 24% | 23% | felt more angry |
In a recent poll from the APA, people surveyed are stressed out not only from 2 years of the pandemic, but now inflation and the war with Ukraine. 87% of those surveyed are stressed about the cost of everything — from groceries to gas. “The same high percentage said their mental health was greatly affected by what has felt like a constant stream of crises without a break over the last two years. Over 70% of parents are concerned about the future of their children and are worried on how it impacts their children’s academic, social, and emotional development. 68% were concerned about their physical and cognitive development.” “This is a particularly difficult time for parents right now. They are maxed out, overwhelmed and dealing with their own stuff.” The Gallup poll also tracks positive experiences, and these dropped for the first time since 2017 — from feeling well rested, to laughing or smiling, to being treated with respect.
So here we are. The stress is real and tangible. I can see the anxiety and stress in my friend’s lives and in areas of my own. That’s a lot of information to absorb, but at the same time, that’s honestly like the tip of the iceberg when you start seeing what people are dealing with in the day to day — there’s so much below the surface that is unseen — the stuff people don’t express and push down to try and stay calm; to stem the anxiety.
For me (and several others I know), in the midst of all this, losing my sense of smell (yes, still, 20 months later) and altered taste in some areas, has added to the struggle. I read it daily in our group on Facebook, now nearing 50k members. Some of the stories are heartbreaking. Some are filled with hopelessness, sadness, and anger. It’s been like adding insult to injury.
How then do we experience joy in our pain, in our depression, in all this loss, in the struggle? In the fall of 2019, I went to a talk by Rob Bell in Indy and it was about joy. He said, “For those who have walked in true pain, significant loss and experience joy in the midst… that is something. See, joy doesn’t push out the heavy or deny the pain. Joy knows how to be HERE…fully present. Joy wraps its arms around it and embraces it.”
Gosh that is hard to do. In the scriptures, when James speaks of experiencing trials and choosing joy, this is what he is saying. When you have experienced something so incredibly difficult and make it through to the other side, there’s a sense of confidence or assurance that when another tough circumstance comes, you can look back on what you learned and who you became from that trial and say, “Hey, I learned something there. That situation changed me. I have hope that this time will be different because I am not who I was when I walked through that first trial!” Learning to open your mind and heart to the fact that these moments are shaping us to either walk in cynicism or bitterness, or choosing to experience joy by embracing the pain and difficulty — knowing that it is refining us to become someone more pure, more open, more true.
The struggle is there. Daily. The conflict and division, all real. Your friends and family who used to be “your tribe” might change. Suddenly, you might feel adrift or alone. Those who you thought you knew so well are so different from who they were. You will get discouraged, depressed, sad. It’s ok. This is a part of refining (which, by the way, involves intense heat to remove impurities). Learning to live above the fray — choosing not to get sucked into the swirl of emotional chaos is a discipline. It’s not easy either. (Did I mention the “it’s not easy” part enough yet?) Sometimes it feels easier to paste a smile on your face and say everything is fine when you are feeling anything but. You just don’t want to pull up all those feelings. I get it. We all do that on some level. At the same time, I believe that having a mindset of practicing positivity and gratefulness is a super power. Honestly. When I choose to walk out the door and say, regardless of what happens, “I am choosing joy today,” it changes my approach to how I interact. I wish I was consistent every day, but it’s a journey and a discipline.
Small things can mean a big deal. The other day I was at a local park. The bathrooms there are always very clean (which is rare for a park, to be honest). There was a lady cleaning the bathrooms as it was nearly gate closing time, and I stepped out of the men’s room which she was about to clean. She said, “How is it? Full of mud and dirt?” I said, “Actually, no, it’s pretty good!” Then I said, “Hey, I want you to know that every time I come to this park, the bathrooms are so clean. They might be the cleanest bathrooms in any local park I have experienced. So thank you for serving us like that. It doesn’t go unnoticed.” Her face just lit up and she thanked me and said I made her day.
A couple months ago, a friend of mine handed me $100 in 20s and told me to bless someone. Well, those $20s were given to people as I felt led and it was so fun to see the immediate joy, then tears of gratitude. So often they would say, “You don’t know how much I needed this,” or “This totally made my day, thank you.” Those encounters are little sparks of joy and hope for someone… and they make you feel pretty good too. Once you start looking for things to appreciate and then find someone to thank or compliment, it will change your outlook. Cynicism is easy and lazy. Being a positive ray of hope takes a little more work, but yields a greater reward.
We are all feeling a little isolated right now. Choose to bridge that gap and infuse some joy into the life of your cashier or barista by being patient and understanding with a smile and a compliment even when there’s a crazy line, giving someone an unexpected gift just because, sending a text or email with a note about how much you appreciate them … Yep. Intentionally engaging in acts of kindness will change your perspective. You won’t feel as alone or isolated. When you begin to notice others’ struggles and serve them, you will find that your struggles are less “in your face” than when you sit and stew over them.
The big stuff is always going to be there — shootings, violence, poverty, wars, politics, religion, pandemics. All I can control is how I respond to it. I can choose to be a city on a hill – lighting the darkness with hope. I can choose to be an advocate for peace, like Jesus speaks about in Matthew 5. (Side note — I’ve been re-reading that amazing sermon in Matthew 5-7. It is such a guide for life! Read it!)
The struggle is real. The darkness is even more real. But the light… changes everything, for the darkness can’t and won’t overcome that! (John 1). (Side note 2 — I quote John 1:5 a lot. It’s worth quoting repeatedly.)
Resources
https://news.gallup.com/poll/394025/world-unhappier-stressed-ever.aspx
https://news.gallup.com/poll/352205/2020-sets-records-negative-emotions.aspx
https://www.fox29.com/news/people-more-unhappy-stressed-out-poll.amp
https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/americans-are-besieged-stress-poll-finds-rcna19288
As usual, you’ve put into words what so many are feeling. I just read an article that talked about humans having this capability of adapting to hard times, sad times and those becoming “normal” and then not so sad or hard anymore. Some may call it disassociation. But, with Christ that is not the lot.
Philippians 4:6 says it well, ” Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
Some seasons of life are harder to practice this than others, but yet the truth remains. I much rather have my heart and mind guarded with peace than numb to reality. And so we press on: Onward. Forward. Upword.