once

once upon a time there was a person who wrote more frequently in here… where on earth did he go? i think he has been writing more in his paper journal… here’s a little selection of my thoughts from the black book…

062405 6.40pm
yesterday i was powerwashing the house, i had just finished and a man i did not know walked up to me and spoke life to me.

i should preface this by how i was feeling yesterday morning. i have been sick for the past few days – sick like i was before, and financially, things are pretty rough right now. so as i drove in silence to work, i was frustrated – at the enemy, at God, at myself. i can’t undertsand why the promises of God are not being fulfilled – for healing, for finances, blessing, etc. i feel like i am standing, giving all i can – believing in faith for healing but He’s not holding up His end of the deal. that’s how i felt, justified or not. i have no intention whatsoever in giving up or giving in, but i know even david felt that way sometimes – kind of a “where are you God” type thing. so that’s where i was. powerwashing the house, going about my day, enjoying being outside in the hot sun getting misted. it was nice.

so this man walks up to me. he says, “i have been watching you working today. i want you to know that the Lord sees your heart. He sees the joy you have while you work. this is not just a job for you. and all of this that you are doing is just for a season – there is so much more for you. there are so many talents and abilities that you have in you beyond this physical labor. i feel that you have so much in your heart to impart to others – to teach them. you are a storehouse waiting to impart. the Lord also wants me to let you know that he has not forgotten you. there is a special blessing coming – a huge blessing – you can’t even imagine it. for He is so pleased with you and your standing. i see you working and i know that this is not work for you, it is an act of worship… your joy in service.”

yeah, my jaw was on the floor. i felt like meg ryan in “you’ve got mail.” i kep saying yes … yes… YES… it was so awesome when the Lord uses someone to speak such life, such encouragement and such blessing. it’s funny how God does that – even when i am losing heart, when i am weak, God brings someone to lift me up, and encourage me in the race – much like the eagles in “lord of the rings: return of the king.” Thank you Father for your faithfulness in my lack… and your never ceasing endless love for me.