“I write for those of you who know the pain of sexual abuse as well as all those who have experienced abandonment, rejection and fear. I write for those of you who believe that you are damaged goods and who identify yourselves by the wounds of your past. I write to encourage you that there is hope, there is light, and there is a life worth living beyond the pains of the past. I write because I believe with my whole heart that you – just like me– can find your way to ultimate healing and freedom.” – Pattie Mallette
So a while back I saw a video on YouTube of Justin Bieber’s mother and she was talking about her faith … and it was a wonderful story. Recently, her book, Nowhere But Up, was published and I picked it up at the library the other day. I finished it last night and I have to say it was a pretty amazing and encouraging read. It’s her story – mainly of her spiritual journey. But she talks about the sexual abuse, failed relationships, drugs and alcohol and lifestyles that were bourne out of her pain and self-loathing. This single mom, worked hard and went though a lot to make sure her son has food, a roof over his head and went to great lengths to encourage his talent in sports and then in singing and playing instruments. She writes about Justin’s journey and her side of that journey, but mainly focuses on sharing the story that has shaped her faith in Jesus Christ and the road leading upward.
“When your true self – who God created you to be – is broken into unrecognizable fragments, you become fertile soil for lies. As those untruths get buried deeper and deeper into your heart, it is almost impossible to get rid of them. They are so securely lodged there that they become a part of you that you can not imagine living without.” Isn’t that the way the enemy works? He loves to implant lies into the wounds and hurts and digging those out is so painful and so hard. But that is why it is so beautiful when the moments of healing take place and Jesus comes and speaks truth to lies and then freedom occurs. She says, “When I began my journey of healing – of seeking out the broken places shattered by rejection, abandonment, and sexual abuse – I never realized how many layers of pain I would have to work through…
I love this quote because it puts into perspective her life of giving: “Financially giving back to God, or tithing, was important to me. Money is the only area in which God directly challenges us, in the Bible, to put Him to the test. ‘Bring one-tenth of your income into the Storehouse so that there may be food in my house,’ he says. ‘Test me in this way … see if I won’t open the windows of heaven for you and flood you with blessings’ (Mal. 3:10). So every Sunday, I gave ten percent of my income back to God. No matter how little I made. No matter how little I had left over. A friend I ‘d known since we were both five years old questions my deep convicton. She knew me both before and after I was a Christian and had watched how I lived my life. She knew I gave to the church and it was a difficult concept for her to comprehend. ‘Why do you do that?’ she asked me many times. ‘Why do you give your money to the church when you can’t afford it? I see your struggles. I know you don’t have enough. If the God you believe in is real, why isn’t He providing? Where is this provider of yours?’ I just smiled. ‘I’m not giving it to to the church,’ I said. ‘I’m giving to God and trusting in Him. God promises that He will multiply what I give. Watch what happens. Just wait and see.’ Today that friend has seen what has happened since I accepted God’s challenge. And it just blows her mind. God has blessed me not only financially, but in a whole host of ways. You see, tithing isn’t really about money. It’s about being free from its control and trusting that God will take care of you.“
That is so good. God promised us that He would take care of our needs. So often we think our needs are a long list of wants, but the amazing thing is that when we put Malachi 3:10 to the test, so so often, we are blessed beyond measure and those things we wanted are either blessings given or we have the ability to get them. And even cooler still, we end up giving away far more than we ever thought possible.
In the end, she tells of how she she has sought healing and has been able to combat the lies of the enemy and stand in her identity in Christ. She says, “I used to believe the lie that I was unloveable; now I know the truth that I am loved (Rom. 8:39). I used to believe I was full of shame; now I know I am forgiven (Rom. 8:1). I used to believe I was worthless; now I know I am valuable (Ps. 139:14). I used to believe there was no point to my existence; now I know the future is full of hope (Jer. 29:11). I used to feel rejected; now I know I am a daughter of God and my Father looks at me with eyes of approval (Zeph. 3:17). I used to believe I was a mistake; now I know I am chosen (I Pet. 2:9).
Quotes from Nowhere but Up by Pattie Mallette.