Back in 1990, pop singer George Michael released an album entitled, Listen Without Prejudice. When he was interviewed about it, he said that he wanted people to listen to the album without judgment of his music or of him as an artist. He was hoping for people to be open-minded and just listen … without prejudice.
Simply put, prejudice is having a “preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.*” It is quite often an “unjustified attitude or opinion, usually a negative one, directed toward an individual for something the individual cannot control.**” It can be about race, gender, sexuality, religious beliefs, or even political standing. Historically, (and even presently) these prejudices have led to shaming, shunning, horrific acts of violence, abuse, and even genocide (Rwanda, April 7, 1994).
In the scriptures, we read stories of Jesus and how he responded to and challenged the prejudicial thinking of the day. Between the Jewish community and their neighbors from Samaria, there was great animosity. Though they were of Jewish descent, the Samaritans had intermarried and were considered to be “impure” — a “mixed race.” In some cases, they were literally considered as dogs. So Jesus told a now-famous story of the Good Samaritan — a story of love crossing racial and tribal boundaries. An injured Jewish man lay in the ditch and two religious leaders crossed to the opposite side of the road, ignored him and went on their way. A traveling Samaritan stopped, picked him up, tended to his wounds and gave him food and lodging. The question of “Who is my neighbor?” was pointedly answered by Jesus’ clear message of inclusion and love. He reiterated this teaching when he said that there are two great commands — to love God and love others. He constantly defied the societal expectations by speaking to the undesirables — prostitutes, unclean lepers, tax collectors, and Samaritans. He made many counter-culture statements like: “If your enemy asks for a coat, give him your shirt also” or, “If he asks you to carry his pack a mile, carry it for two miles.” Jesus said things like, “Love your enemies, do good to those who do harm to you” (Luke 6:27). In that time, when Israel was occupied by a brutal Roman government, these would have been head-shaking and unbelievable statements, difficult to even consider.
Rising above prejudice is not easy, comfortable, and requires courage and the willingness to step over a line or break through a barrier. History is full of many people who have stood against prejudice, bigotry, racism, and persecution — Ghandi, Oskar Schindler, Rosa Parks, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr., The Dali Lama, Susan B. Anthony, Harriet Tubman, William Wilberforce, Malala Yousefzai and many more throughout the world. And so many who worked quietly under the radar have paid the price with their lives.
Because so much of our world is shaped by prejudices — learned from family, caught from friends, taught by school teachers, or just picked up from living in a neighborhood or town, how do we engage in conversation with people without drawing from opinions, beliefs, preconceptions? How do I truly listen without prejudice? I submit that it certainly requires an open mind and begins by listening. The point is to hear another view — a different side; to gain perspective.
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
Stephen R. Covey
Many people enter into conversations trying to persuade the other person of their point of view or belief. Rather than actually and actively listening, they are formulating responses and arguments in an attempt to change the mind of the other person. Many times I have found myself doing his. I can be an opinionated guy, and if I am passionate about a topic, I can completely miss the other person’s story. Sometimes I don’t understand their perspective nor where they are doing from because I haven’t walked in their shoes. I am missing their journey because I am not truly listening. My prejudices have colored my view of people without even knowing their journey!
I watched a video of a congresswoman asking questions of a businessman at a congressional hearing. She didn’t take the time to fully listen to his answers before interrupting him with another question. She asked leading and directed questions to get him to answer in ways that would “prove her point.” It was a great example of listening with extreme prejudice. She had already formulated what she thought he would say and came at him very defensively. In the end, nothing was learned or gained other than she ended up looking arrogant and condescending and she didn’t hear him. And that is sad because the beauty of discourse is to learn something. When you have a good conversation with debate and discussion, it can cause you to walk away with new understanding, fresh perspective, and the feeling of, “wow, that really made me think.” That doesn’t happen often, sadly. Whenever I watch politicians or theologians debate, I rarely come away knowing anything new or interesting. I mostly just shake my head and say, “well that was a waste of time. No one changed their positions. In fact, no one even really heard the other position.”
“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”
Karl A. Menniger
In a nutshell, that statement is it. To be one, as Sue Patton Thoele says, who is an “open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listener,” thereby allowing someone else to unfold and grow and expand — into creativity, desire, destiny, passion. Yeah. That. Right there. Listen without prejudice.
* https://simple.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prejudice
** https://legaldictionary.net/prejudice/