This morning I received a text from my friend Zach. It was a snap of Psalm 141:1-5. I read the words: “O Lord, I am calling to you. Please hurry! Listen when I cry to you for help! Accept my prayer as incense offered to you, and my upraised hands as an evening offering. Take control of what I say, O Lord and guard my lips. Don’t let me drift toward evil or take part in acts of wickedness. Don’t let me share in the delicacies of those who do wrong. Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it.”
It was the last verse that really caught my attention as I read it. His version said, “Let a righteous man strike me – it is a kindness.” As I pondered on this and read about it, what strikes me is this. I should disdain the delicacies of the world — all the empty sugary sweetness of the ungodly. I need to continually be on guard against drifting toward anything that is evil and especially engaging in the activities of the world (James 1:27). And should I start down that road, may someone who is a godly person rap me up-side the head. Essentially, I am giving permission for that. In fact I am asking for it. One commentary stated, “I would rather be smitten by the righteous than feasted by the wicked.” The wicked flatter you with false platitudes and ear-tickling phrases. In reality, this is nothing but cruelty. Yet when someone who is a God-seeker gives you a hard truth, the words of Solomon ring true… “Better are the wounds of a friend than the kisses of an enemy” (Prov. 27:6). A fool resents correction, but a wise man takes it and learns and allows the process to change Him. I want good friends around me who are willing to speak truth to me even if it is hard for me to hear. How can I possibly grow if I am unwilling to hear those things that are hindering me to become more like Christ?
“Oil breaks no heads, and rebuke does no man any harm; rather, as oil refreshes and perfumes, so does reproof when fitly taken sweeten and renew the heart. My friend must love me well if he will tell me of my faults: there is an unction about him if he is honest enough to point out my errors. Many a man has had his head broken at the feasts of the wicked, but none at the table of a true-hearted reprover…. They are not always sweet, but they are always excellent; they may for the moment bruise the heart, but they never break either it or the head.” Source
We are a culture that has become paranoid about speaking anything slightly hard to someone else. We live in fear that a simple reproof will offend or even harm someone. Part of living as a Christian is the willingness to speak those hard truths in love. [Obviously we are talking about fellow believers here, and not those who do not practice Christianity.] And it is precisely noticeable that many of those who profess to be followers of Christ are some of the most thin-skinned “offendable” people. Why is this? Why are we so afraid to face our own junk and deal with it? Why are we content to live in the shallows when the depths are so much more rich and full of such great mysteries and adventures? It is easy to stay in the shallows where we can see the bottom and know what to expect. It’s safe. But God is calling us to places yet unexplored — in our hearts and in our minds. He wants us to be so purged of all that hinders love that he will allow other brothers and sisters to poke us or strike us because He knows that it can spur us to growth and freedom. The psalmist says it is like a “soothing medicine” and that it is actually kindness!
So I embrace the pokes and prods and even slaps up-side the head by my truth-in-love-speaking brothers and sisters. I must be willing to examine my heart and open my mind to receive loving correction. I have learned to grow some thicker skin and not freak out when I get corrected. The psalmist says, “Don’t be stubborn and resist!” For great freedom awaits when we choose humility, and a true friend is one who is willing to be honest with me.