Jargon King

Anyone who knows me well would be aware of my occasional penchant for inventing impressive sounding jargon. Whether it is automotive, computer or mathematical, I love a great sounding car part like “carboration intake array”. Here’s a brief excerpt of a conversation this evening with my friend Scott Devlin. We were speaking of computer speeds:

Scott:
and the celeron and semperon were born and now you can get a Dell Dimension desktop with an Intel Celeron processor for just $299! amazing! they dont tell you that in 2 months your computer will overheat, lock up, destroy your information, and give your children STD’s. the chip architecture is very poorly and cheaply done. its not your pentium, thats for sure. just to test, i raced a Pentium 4 1.6 against a Celeron 2.4. the celerons clock speed is .8ghz faster, but the Pentium simply smoked it.

Joshua:
well you should test it against a g5 quad, just for curiosity

Scott:
id put mine up against it.

Joshua:
whats yours?

Scott:
dual opteron 250

Joshua:
well that sounds impressive.

Scott:
its got kahunas, but it gets eaten up so fast when you edit video.

Joshua:
personally, my latest machine is an octa-core transperion hyperdrive XL6000 unit with a quad cone transponder frequency jammer and multiphasic diode array. it has CD burners, toasters, and even a built in microwave oven.

Scott:
laughing very hard … but you still have to do your own laundry!