My sister, Sara, called me this morning. Often we have very off the cuff “talks” about various and sundry issues. Today’s issue began with Don Imus’ recent remarks. I thought Imus was rather crass and racist for saying them – it certainly was not encouraging speech in any way. And we agreed on this. Our main point of contention is this: as a white man in America today, I am not allowed the same privileges that my black, latin, indian, _______ brothers are. We can not, for example, have White Awareness Month. There is no American White Person Fund to send my children to college. If I were to try to start anything of this sort, I would be branded a member of the KKK or something.
I remember this woman at my primarily white church in upstate NY. She was black and very outspoken about her African-American-ness. One day, my sister-in-law Trish came to visit. At the time, she and Matt were engaged, and this woman saw Trish and I don’t think ever left her side for the rest of the service. Afterward, she came up to me and just went on and on about how brave Matt was for crossing racial lines and marrying a black girl, and asked what my family thought about such a bold thing. I honestly never gave it much thought that Trish was black and how it would or would not affect my family. She was Trish, the girl that Matt loved. What difference did it make what color her skin was? But to this lady, this was a huge thing. Because that was her focus. Everything for her was a black vs. white issue, and she was always at war.
When I describe myself, I don’t say I am an Italian-Irish American. True, that is a part of my heritage. But I am not defined by the color (or lack of color) of my skin. First and foremost, I am human. Humanity is others who are striving, laughing, crying, working, joking, cursing, sharing, creating, inventing, caring, loving, and living just like me. Their skin color is a plethora of hues, and their heritage is varied and unique. Each one has a story to tell. This is what makes us human. Instead of always referring to each other by racial /color lines (“that black guy, that asian girl”), can we just learn and understand that we are all humans here on this planet. I don’t know if it is possible, but I guess it’s something to work toward. In the words of Rodney King… “Why can’t we all just get along!” Ok, I sound like NPR on this post. Sheesh.
Yeah, I’m feeling you a bit. But while over-aggressive minority types often make big issue out of certain things due to an agenda, a focus… the “if we had White History/Awareness Month we would be sued” and other such arguments are a strawman.
Hypotheticals like this drive me nuts. Of course there would never be White History Month, not because we would get into trouble over it, but because our history is in every book, on TV, and socially all around us. Yes, you would look like a white supremest if you branded an event as such. Of course it would come off offensive. Unfortunately, the whole argument seems like it’s apples to apples, when it’s not even close.
The way I see it is, as white Americans, we have no idea what it is like to be a minority (seriously), and we have plenty of opportunities. This idea of blanket equality by comparisons on social privilege is silly. Equally silly are people who bring racial issues to the forefront because of an agenda, and as you note, it usually does more to hurt said agenda.
So more specifically, if you think that your black, latin, indian, ______ brothers have a privilege that you do not, all I can think is wow. How we can compare the dominance of white culture to the “privilege” of minorities and think we’re at a loss, I’ll never get it.
90% of the folk I’ve heard make arguments like the “White History Month” one have zero friends, acquaintances, or associates of any minority, and it’s an amateur ignorance derived from old hidden prejudices. The additional 10% are racists, whether they notice or not.
Any argument that starts, “they can do X, but if WE did that, whoaboy…” is full of crap.
But back to the original issue, the thing I hated about the whole Don Imus thing is that the women’s basketball coach made them out to be victims. As if some guy can strip their pride and accomplishment from them. That coach was one of the people like the other woman you mention. She used the situation for an agenda.
I think we need to be humble, especially the types who don’t know or associate with any other cultures but their own. You probably get less of it than you think. I know I do… Humility is key.
Anyway, due to the high risk of ranting, I’ll leave it at that.
i will say this while i am a white woman and not a minority, i have been used to being overlooked and ignored because i am a woman. in the business’ i have been involved in (construction and chainsaw carving) MANY of our customers (especially male) completely ignore me and speak directly to mike or ask to speak to the carver. Many honestly dont know how to treat me because i am not the norm. same thing in construction. if i was up on the roof with my father working they would: A. wolf whistle at me. B. ask my father when he got a hot piece of *** working for him. C. think i was a lesbian.
i know i am comparing two different things i am just trying to point out that you can be a minority and have white skin. no its nothing compared to other races i know. i disagree with this statement:
“90% of the folk I’ve heard make arguments like the “White History Month” one have zero friends, acquaintances, or associates of any minority, and it’s an amateur ignorance derived from old hidden prejudices. The additional 10% are racists, whether they notice or not.”
Its the point we are trying to make. the point only. its not going to happen we know that the point its why is it ok to do that. why is it ok for other races to call each other degrading names and if a white person does it they are a racist. if a black person does not want the n word to be used then stop using it themselves stop calling each other it. i dont use the n word i never have. i stop people who try to tell me stupid jokes i dont want to hear it. plain and simple. i think its a ignorant statement to be that general and speak for the people you have heard make those statements. because my brother JOSH made that statement and he is not racist or ignorant. We have friends aquaintances and FAMILY of other minorities. i also have my own beliefs and they are my own they do not have to be accepted by you or anyone else. that is what makes us human.
you can’t put controversial stuff like this up. we don’t want another halloween ’06 episode do we?
Sara, I respect your opinion. Please be certain I was not suggesting any of your family to be racists, or disconnected from minorities. Re-reading my statement certainly made it sound that way.
My point was that arguments based on hypothetical situations usually hold very little credibility with me. It is a generally held belief in most intellectual circles that such hypotheticals are unfortunate, because they hold weight and seem correct, yet they are misguided.
There is a time and place for what-ifs, and discussions on race are generally not the time or place, in my opinion.
Sorry I came off so rash. You must understand, I come from a family that places such hypotheticals on the table regularly. I lived in East Texas in 2004… I will not even begin with that, but needless to say, quite eye-opening even for someone who isn’t generally naive.
If I may add to your other comment… I’ve noticed that many African Americans are standing up against the crude slang that seems so acceptable among themselves but not suitable for “outsiders” to repeat. I am glad to hear those with “celebrity” status speak out more, regardless of my thoughts on celebrity.
Just the other day I was watching Letterman, and an actor whose name I cannot recall was speaking at great length on this and said, “I never want to hear that word again, from anyone, period.” Followed by great applause. He must be the 10th actor/actress I’ve heard come out openly about this subject in the last year. Unfortunately, unless you see or hear these people live, you probably won’t see or hear it at all, as it seems that the media takes little interest in replaying these statements.
Anyway, most of my frustration is leveraged against Caucasian males, such as myself, for being so bull-headed and arrogant. We have no idea how easy it is for us.
But all things come full circle, I guess. Women’s rights is as big a movement as ever, sometimes to the detriment and disrespect women abroad. And within 20 years, the average white male will no longer be the majority.
As the cultures in America continue to rise and co-exist, I wonder if white America will continue to sit around the dinner table and talk about other races with contempt. Hopefully some will make new friends, and gain new perspectives.
Very well said Bradley. So many people do not consider themselves racist when in reality they truly are.
Oh, and sorry for the late comment. I don’t get to check out my cousins blog much.