What is it about fall that brings pensive thoughts, sobriety of mind, and the desire to drive around listening to mellow ambient stuff? Perhaps it is the shift of summer fun on the lake, skiing and being out in the sun, to the changing leaves, cool nights and campfires reminding me that Cold Man Winter is heading our way down from the north in his SnowCat. So it’s nearly officially fall and I am feeling a bit of melancholia.
Some of it I think has to do with my flux since May. We moved, but I haven’t landed, so to speak. I have been busy working at the building, and lately, working at the Camp. And in the midst of it all, I have not been able to get organized as I have not had an office. You don’t realize how much you miss having a space of your own to keep your files organized and your thoughts in one place until you don’t have it any more. And I really had a nice office before we moved. So, today I decided that enough is enough, and it was time to set up my office. There was a spare room at the Camp that just needed some cleaning and that got done today so Joey and I set up the big desk and moved the files in there and I am pumped. It’s a beautiful room that we built a few years ago that overlooks the cross and the big field. The standup desk is in place and I am ready to get reorganized. I think it will settle my mind and help me feel a little more peaceful in the area of my work. You know me, Steady Eddie.
Another part has to do with my and God stuff. Sometimes when you lose perspective or become so busy, you stop doing the things that are most crucial to peace, to joy, to ministry. Even though I work in a place of ministry every day, it can be like automatic pilot to do “God things” and live off of yesterday’s oil without having new revelation or without refilling the oil lamp and suddenly I find myself feeling dry and wondering why. It goes back to having the head knowledge of “I know I need to be in the Word daily, to be a man of prayer, to be intentional, to be in the worship closet every day” … but the rest of me isn’t there. I let myself become lazy or undisciplined and suddenly I realize wow… I don’t like being here much. So it’s like Mike Bickle and Justin Maust speak about – living with intentionality, living on purpose, living a focused disciplined life where you encounter God on a regular basis because you are living expecting that encounter. I’d rather not be melancholy this fall, I would rather have a season of intentional encounter where I am hearing the voice of God frequently and diving into the depths of His word, expecting to be changed. As Jerry Reeder would say, that’s my story…and I am sticking to it.
“Don’t get off track, either left or right, so you make sure you know where you are going. And don’t for a minute let this book be out of your mind. Ponder it and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you’ll get where you are going; then you’ll succeed. Haven’t I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God is with you every step you take.” — Joshua 1