This song has been going through my head the past few days by Building429. The chorus says:
“All I know is I’m not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong.”
Do you ever have days when you see all the crazy going on around you and think, gosh, I don’t belong here. This lifestyle, the pursuits of the world are so unappealing and unattractive. They might look good on the outside, but the inside is hollow. Empty. Vain. The enemy is a master of deceit, and he is able to take things that are dark and dirty and make them tantalizing and bright.
The past few weeks I have been blowing, raking, and burning leaves. This fall has been beautiful and warm with lots of rain and wind interspersed throughout the days. Needless to say, leaves have not fallen as in years past. So here it is, nearly December and I’m still doing leaves. This 2017 Autumn season really shouldn’t be called Fall. It should be called Cling. Those leaves are doing their best to stay right on those trees. Every fall marks the beginning of the close of the year for me. By the end of November, I am gearing up for snow season and the cold is creeping in day by day. The fall is symbolic of death — the long sleep — when the leaves fall and dry up, trees and perennials go dormant, animals hibernate. Trees are bare, the air is crisp, and for me, the senses are just a bit more keen.
So I am thinking a lot about things while working on the grounds, and I was imagining that the falling dead leaves are my sins, and when they hit the ground, they are raked into a big pile by Jesus, and set ablaze by His righteous and holy fire – so hot that they are completely obliterated… never to be remembered again. This is a death-to-self kind of a thing — where those things that once held appeal and a piece of my heart, have become dried out husks – meaningless and lifeless, falling off of me to be fuel for the fire. One dead leaf is pretty light, easily missed. A huge pile… not so much. Christ asks me to invite the wind to blow and shake off the dead things that hold me down, that keep me covered. Then I stand there, exposed.
“When the earth shakes
I wanna be found in you
When the lights fade
I wanna be found in you”
When our life is shaken by the winds, when we stand there exposed, with all our old, familiar patterns of life — our sins — our hope [our only hope] is that we will be found in the hand of God. He says that when He holds us in the palm of His hand, nothing can snatch us out (John 10:28-30) When we see the violence in the streets, the murder of our brothers and sisters, the political posturing, the scandals of abuse, the hurt, the judgment and self-righteousness, the hypocrisy, the loneliness, the perverse and the profane… those who are on the narrow road long for the next turn to be an elevator straight to heaven and a way up out of the madness. All the trappings of the world mean nothing compared to the goodness and love of God.
This is not where I belong. St. Peter says it in chapter 2 of his first letter. Don’t make yourselves to comfortable here in this world — you are strangers and travelers here… this is temporary. “Take this world and give me Jesus… This is not where I belong.”
Yet, He tells us, until I come back Be light. Be love. Be a servant. So, while I am here, I will do the greatest good I am able. I will give, encourage, love, and live. But in my heart, this world is not my home, I’m just passing through…
Songwriters: Jason Ingram / Jason Roy / Where I Belong lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Essential Music Publishing