A long discussion last night until the early hours of this morning… It is amazing to me how much our childhood shaped who we are today. I imagine that being a parent is a really scary thing. You are suddenly thrust into a responsbility to molding and shaping another human being to be responsible, honest, fair, trustworthy, kind, generous, and all those other good qualities that we imagined our kids would have. But I am certain that many parents don’t even have a clue how to do that. They do the best they can, and learn as they go. I think back to how many times my parents did stupid stuff with me � were inconsistent, abusive, harsh, critical or judgmental. Those times always stay with you. Of course things were good too (usually more often than the bad), so you try and remember those more. But it is interesting now looking back how the “bad times” stick in your mind as pivotal times when you would say to yourself “I will never do this to my kids,” or “I will remember this when I have kids so that I don’t treat them this way.” I think back to the times when we would be arguing about something and I would ask the question “Why?” [which I know probably frustrated them greatly because I asked it quite often]. The answer “Because I said so” was often given and was often final. I hated that. I figured that I deserved some sort of a logical, rational explanation of why I could not do whatever. “I am the parent and you are the kid so you have to obey without question” seemed to be the mentality that was embraced at the time. I believe that children need an explanation of why or why not. Kids are much smarter than many people give them credit for. They see things that we “old folks” miss, and pick up on stuff that we never thought they would notice. It’s really amazing. Anyway, all that to say… yeah, our childhood [parents, friends, comments, holidays, school, bullies] shapes us. Sometimes to “deal with it and move on” takes alot longer than we’d like.
