Bullying

Bullying Statistics

• 18 million students will be bullied this year.
• 1 out of 4 teens are bullied.
• 9 out of 10 LGBT students experienced harassment at school and online.
• As many as 160,000 students stay home on any given day because they’re afraid of being bullied.
• 1 out of 5 kids admits to being a bully, or doing some “bullying.”
• 60% of middle school students say that they have been bullied, while 16% of staff believe that students are bullied.
• 20% of high school students say they have seriously considered suicide with the last 12 months.
• 25% of students say that teachers intervened in bullying incidents while 71% of teachers say they intervened.
• 43% fear harassment in the bathroom at school.
• 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month.
• More youth violence occurs on school grounds as opposed to on the way to school.
• 80% of the time, an argument with a bully will end up in a physical fight.
• 1/3 of students surveyed said they heard another student threaten to kill someone.
• Playground statistics: Every 7 minutes a child is bullied. Adult intervention 4%, Peer intervention 11%, No intervention 85%.
• Bullying was a factor in 2/3 of the 37 school shootings reviewed by the US Secret Service.

Thoughts on Bullying

Just went and saw the documentary Bully. Very powerful and moving. It’s amazing to me how that some feel that bullying is like  a “normal right of passage in growing up.” After all, “boys will be boys” and “that’s how you learn to be a man.”  But I remember the words that were thrown at me as a kid, and how long I carried those wounds. I look at these young people who have taken their own lives – one young man, Tyler Long, age 17, who hung himself because he was tired of the taunts and constant barrage of words that ran him down. You should just hang yourself and get it over with, they said. And he did. And those same kids wore ropes around their necks at  school after he died in mockery. My heart went out to his mom and dad who were left to pick up the pieces.

When you are a kid that is different from the popular crowd, life can be tough. Even in a small school like I went to, it was not easy being a kid who was bad a sports when that was a big deal in my school. So when PE came around and all the guys knew you we not a good football or basketball or baseball player, guess what you were the last one picked, and even then not really wanted or valued in any way for the team. And what that does is begins the process of ingraining into your mind that you are less than. You are not valuable. Couple that with taunts when you are trying to play the game, comments about your physical features or social standing, and life begins to start to get hard day after day. And I went to a Christian school. Today’s schools are so so so much worse than anything I experienced. Kids today are faced with such profanity and perversion and violence and how they are able to stand at all in the midst of that kind of pressure is honestly astounding. Regardless, what I faced was very real to me. And the wounds of those days and those who did the wounding cut me deeply. And it took me many years to get past many of those. I look back now and wonder what kind of men some of those guys became. (I pray that the Lord has worked in their hearts and changed who they were to be men of character.) It took me a long time to let go of some of the bitterness toward people I no longer knew. There were many moments when, even thought I knew my parents loved me, and my grandparents loved me, and my brother was one of my best friends, because of those words, (and because I was a deep feeler), that there was not much of a point to continue on. I never tried to kill myself. But thought about it many times.

The Bible says that the tongue holds the power of life and death. I never experienced much in the form of physical bullying. Oh there was the usual pushing and shoving around that guys did to the “nerds” (which is bullying) but it was the words… the words that crushed my spirit, the words that broke my confidence in who I was and what I was made for. What we speak and cause someone such pain… or give someone so much hope.

Because someone doesn’t dress in the latest fashion or isn’t good at a sport or is socially awkward or has a goofy haircut or wears thick glasses, or has a weird voice, or likes science or, or, or … whatever it is that makes them “different” … never makes it right for mockery, cutting them down with words, or physical abuse. Because at the core, bullying is abuse. Plain and simple. It is one person who has a form of “power” over the other person because they can either physically overpower them or use words to beat the other person down.

Like I said, it took me a long time to get past some of those wounds of childhood. In my church we do a form of counseling called Theophostic Prayer Ministry. That’s a fancy word for God (theo) brings light (phosos). And one session I was in took me back to one of those horrible PE classes where there we were… standing in a line as awkward young teens and two guys were chosen to be the captain and pick the teams for basketball. And I was last that day. “I guess we’re stuck with Petrillo,” was what I remember. I felt alone and completely demoralized. So there I was in that session, reliving that memory. It was hard. Like a movie where your heart just breaks for the kid as you see him walking, head down, defeated… Then we prayed. In that moment. “Jesus, what do you want Joshua to know right now?” And oh my, when Jesus shows up, it is like nothing you have ever experienced. He did. I clearly heard Him speak in my spirit to my heart. He said, “Joshua, I have never left you. Not even once. I have always been with you. Since you came to know me at age 5, I have been inside of you. And I want you to know that all the way back then, I CHOSE YOU. I picked you for my team. You were so valuable to me that I wanted you to be a part of my family. My team.” When TRUTH comes in and kicks out a lie (you didn’t matter, you weren’t good enough) and it comes from the person WHO IS TRUTH, the enemy has no longer any room to dwell, because light has flooded in and the darkness was forced to leave. Since that day, I have been so much more free, specifically in that area. I am confident in my calling and in who I am. And that is what the power of Jesus’ words can do… they can restore hope, heal wounds, comfort the broken-hearted and free the captive.

I pray today that those who have been bullied will find mentors and counselors and those who can help you. I pray that you won’t give up or let people drag you down because of their need to make themselves feel better by kicking you down. Life is worth living, even on days when you can’t see the sun, I promise that Jesus is there and will fill you with all hope and peace if you call to Him.